


No one wants to be a cockblocker

by Eremit



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, for cheering up, just a little something, tiny bit of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23650372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eremit/pseuds/Eremit
Summary: 5 times Naruto and Sasuke's friends tried to not ruin the moment and 1 time when Naruto cockblocked himself
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 7
Kudos: 158





	No one wants to be a cockblocker

**I**

“Sasuke?”

A quiet hum came from somewhere around Naruto’s hair.

“I’m happy.”

The words hanged between them, light and comforting, and Naruto was content with the silence as long as Uchiha’s fingers were playing with his hair. But then Sasuke shifted his arm a little bit, readjusting the book on his stomach.

“You’d better be. You are taking up the bigger part of the couch,” Naruto let out a short laugh in response. “Have you finished?”

Naruto gave a small nod and Sasuke turned the page in the book. Black eyes were stuck on the pages and Naruto could tell that his friend was pretty invested in the story. Naruto gave up on reading a long time ago, but he would gladly pretend he was all about Lower Palaeolithic, if he could stay like that a little longer.

His blond head was resting in the crook of Sasuke’s neck, his body pressed to his friend’s side.

“Do you want me to move?” Uzumaki asked, sending his friend a cocky smile. “ I can move.”

With some laughter from Naruto and a small growl from Sasuke, Uzumaki squeezed himself even closer, one of his hands pulling on Uchiha’s waist. He felt like Sasuke was trying to push him from the couch, legs kicking at his shins. But they were poor attempts to push him away as after a few moments, Uchiha let Naruto slipped one of his legs between his owns.

It was something soothing in laying like that.

With the tip of his nose gently moving over Sasuke’s Adam’s apple, feather touches over the black hoodie, his head dizzy from the of oh, so familiar scent of wild raspberries, green tea and something remotely associate with Sasuke.

Naruto adjusted his hold on Sasuke’s waist, squeezing him tighter.

“Stop sniffing me, you weirdo.”

“I’m not sniffing you! Who would even want to smell you! You stink, Sasuke!

“I am not the one rolling on the couch after the training, moron!”

Itachi let out a small sigh, his head tipped back, hitting the wall behind him.

When he walked out of his office ten minutes ago, he thought that maybe the boys were already in Sasuke’s room. He brought his laptop downstairs, grabbed his already lukewarm coffee from the kitchen counter and headed towards the living room. He halted a little bit, when he saw his brother and his best friend sprawled on the small couch pressed together. However, what made him dodge behind the wall and stay silent, was Naruto’s soft voice calling Sasuke’s name.

It made Itachi feel, like he was intruding a private conversation, like the scene in front of him, wasn’t meant for his eyes and he didn’t want to ruin the moment.

But now, when his ears were picking different shouts about whose feet smell the most, he clutched his belongings tighter and moved towards his office with a small smile. He would let them have their moment just a little longer.

**II**

Sakura was quickly tapping on her phone, sending Ino message after message. She was glad that Sasuke didn’t comment on her furious typing, because she didn’t have it in her to explain to one more person, why violet dress looked so much better with beige sandals than green skirt.

“Sasuke!”

Haruno quickly looked up from her phone, when he heard Naruto’s voice. The blond was jogging towards their bench, with sport bag hanging over his shoulder and towel around his neck.

“Oh, hi, Sakura!” Naruto greeted her with a big smile, the corners of his mouth going only a little bit down, as he motioned between her and Sasuke. “Am I interrupting something?”

After thousands heartbreaks, Sakura shouldn’t be influence by Naruto’s words anymore.

She wasn’t chasing after Sasuke any longer, her heart was healing, getting stronger and most of the time, she was truly okay with Naruto’s teasing. But still, she couldn’t help the blush creeping on her cheeks, when her eyes moved towards Sasuke’s eyes, his arm brushing past her shoulder. She felt a pleasant buzz in her bones and warmness spreading in her belly.

So maybe, maybe she wasn’t completely over her crush…

“No, you moron, “ Uchiha’s words were like cold shower. “We are dropping Sakura at library, before going to dinner.”

She tried to push away the thought of how pleasant it would be to share a dinner with Sasuke in one of those outside restaurants.

“How’s your training?” Sakura asked, trying to change the subject.

“Man, I’m so beat!” Naruto whined, tipping his head backwards. “Gai-sensei made us running in that sun, I feel like melting.”

Haruno was about to offer Naruto a bottle of water, but then the blond dropped to his knees in front of Sasuke, his head raised to look into Uchiha’s eyes and her words stuck in her throat. She watched like tan hands captured the pale ones and brought them closer to the scarred cheeks.

“ Ah, much better,” Naruto answered, nuzzling his face in a cold palms. “Your hands are a blessing, Sasuke.”

Sakura waited for Sasuke to wrench his hands from Naruto’s grip, she waited for a growl, a curse, for Naruto to be push on his butt. But Uchiha only leaned in, small smirk playing on his lips and moved his right hand to Uzumaki’s nape.

“Oh yeah? You were saying something else few days ago.”

It was too much for Sakura to handle.

She raised from her seat, with a quiet “I need to get that”, her grip tight on the pink phone and she practically ran away from the boys.

“Because you put them on my kidneys, you psycho!”

She heard Naruto’s shouts in the distance and for a moment, she thought about going back.

That maybe she just overreacted and they would start fighting if she didn’t come back soon.

But in that moment, she felt like the space was too crowded. Like the touches were too soft to be casual, their interaction too intimate for anyone to see. Like whatever Naruto and Sasuke had was simply meant so stay between them.

And she didn’t fit in that picture.

When she looked in their direction, Naruto was trying to prey Sasuke’s finger away from his face as Uchiha pushed at his cheeks, making Uzumaki’s face look like a pouting fish.

“Sakura, help!”

Sakura let out a small laugh. Maybe one day she would have whatever Naruto and Sasuke had.

As she was making her way back towards the bench, her phone vibrated in her hands. She opened the message with angry “WHATEVER” and a photo of Ino in the violet dress, with her tongue sticking out.

**III**

Ino woke up with a light pounding in her head and pain in her bladder. For a moment, she thought about covering her head with a blanket and going back to sleep, no matter how uncomfortable Sai’s couch was. But the alcohol from the party was still swinging in her belly and she was convinced she wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep without some strong painkillers and a trip to the bathroom. She was about to slip from between the blankets, but a soft whisper stopped her.

“Sasuke.”

Naruto’s voice was hushed and breathy, coming from somewhere on the floor. Feeling the cold breeze sneaking thought the open balcony, she was glad that she called the dibs on the couch in Sai’s living room and didn’t have to freeze her butt off on the floor like a rest of the fools.

“Sasukeee.”

Ino was tempted to tell Naruto to shut up, that Sasuke was probably asleep and so should be he, but then she heard a quiet squeak of the floor boards and some rustling of the sheets.

“Naruto, what?” Uchiha rasped.

Despite the crankiness in his voice, Ino couldn’t shake the feeling that Sasuke’s voice was surprisingly soft.

Uchiha always was a living nightmare after being woken up, to the point that they let Uchiha sleep as long as he needed, because no one wanted to be a subject to Sasuke’s force. She was pretty sure, Sai still had a scar after that one night that Kiba dared him to wake up Sasuke.

“Oh, you aren’t asleep, good, good,” Naruto mumbled, his words a little bit slurred. Did that idiot even sleep at all? “I just want you to know that I was serious about what I said today.”

Ino tried her very best not to move too much on the couch, despite her bladder screaming in pain. She had no idea what Naruto was talking about, but his voice was so tender and small, and she really didn’t have in her to crush it with her run to the bathroom. 

“If this is about pigeons being better than hawks, I’m gonna punch you. ”

“No – I mean, yeah, of course pigeons are better, but – “

There was a little bit more shuffling and rustling of the covers.

“I really meant it when I said you would be the best husband.”

Oh, yeah, _that_ thing.

They were playing “truth or dare” during the party, and someone had asked Naruto who he thought would be the best husband out of all their friends. It was a great surprise, when without missing a beat, Naruto said his best friend’s name. And of course, everybody started to laugh and thought that Uzumaki was taking a piss, because everybody _but,_ Uchiha Sasuke would be an okay answer. Even Sasuke was surprise by Naruto’s word, but it was all quickly forgotten when Sakura was dared to empty the rest of her wine bottle.

“Sasuke? Are you asleep?”

Something must have gave it away that Uchiha wasn’t asleep, because Naruto continued in the same hushed, soft voice.

“Oh, good, I thought that maybe you fall asleep and – and I want you to know that, it wasn’t a joke, it is true. Like you are the most hard working person I know, and you are so stubborn, and you would be the first one to take a hit for someone you care about and – and you always take care of things that everybody always forget, you always remember when I have the periodic motor vehicle inspection and when Kurama needs to go to vet or when I’m running low on my conditioner or – or that time when you – “

From her position on the couch, she couldn’t see their faces. She only could catch a glimpse of the end of Naruto’s sleeping bag and one of his foot sticking out. She heard Choji’s snoring from the next room, the ticking of the big, old clock somewhere from the hall, and Naruto’s nervous mumbling.

“ – Or like you fixed Iruka’s spin dryer, man I don’t know how you’ve done that, that shit was broken even before I moved in and – “

“Who would even want that from a husband?”

Ino hoped that her small surprised gasp went unnoticed, because at the same time Naruto let out a similar noise. Sasuke’s voice was hushed and resigned and help her god, she prayed to every entity that her little outburst didn’t blow the moment for them.

Because it didn’t need a genius to answer the question.

_Naruto._

_Naruto would want all of that for the rest of his life._

She was waiting, holding her breath, hands clutching around the sheets, she was waiting for Naruto to finally let it all out. And as much as Ino lived for the drama and suspense, she really hoped Naruto would speed things up and end her suffering.

“I don’t know, “ Naruto finally said, in his normal, playful _and irritating_ voice.”Some kind of weirdo with a broken spin dryer.”

Ino barley held her disappointed scowl, because – what the fuck? That whole suspense was building up to… _this_? To Naruto being stupid at the crack of dawn?

To her surprise, Sasuke let out a small laugh and there was a little more shuffling of the covers.

“Just go to sleep, you moron.”

“Pf, I bet I’ll still look better in the morning with my 2 hours of sleep than you with your 8.”

“In your dreams, usuratonkachi.”

Ino waited a little bit more, after the rustling stopped and Naruto started snoring and she softly slipped out from the room. When she marched out from the bathroom, straight to the opposite bedroom, she manoeuvred between Shikamaru and Choji’s sleeping bags to get to the couch.

When Sakura opened her glazed eyes and blinked at her a few times, Ino just announced that she was sleeping here now.

She was glad, that Haruno just scooted over and didn’t ask any questions.

**IV**

“Man, I can’t believe they killed him!”

Shikamaru took a drag from his cigarette and tipped a pack towards Sasuke. Uchiha made a move to snatch one of the cigarettes, but in the same moment, Naruto turned his face towards them.

“What the fuck you think you’re doing?”

A second later Naruto was right in front of them, leaving the poor Kiba by himself in front of the cinema building.

“I could ask you the same question, usuratonkachi, “Sasuke answered and move once again to fish out a cigarette.

Naruto’s hand slapped Uchiha’s arm away and Shikamaru took it as a sign to hide the pack into his pocket.

“I didn’t know you’re quitting,” Shikamaru said, shrugging.

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

Nara looked between two friends. Naruto was clearly pissed, with his brows furrowed, tan fingers firmly gripping Uchiha’s bicep, his eyes darker than usual. Uchiha assessed the blond for a moment, before he wrenched his arm away.

“Whatever,” Sasuke hissed and started walking ahead.

“Don’t “whatever” me, you jerk!”

As expected, Naruto was quickly following after Sasuke.

“Yo! You dicks, you left me!”

Shikamaru felt like Kiba lightly punched him in the arm and they both move after Naruto and Sasuke.

The weather was quite nice, despite the late hour. Shikamaru flicked a little bit of ash from his cigarette, partially listening to Kiba’s theories about the movie they’ve just watched.

But his eyes were stuck on the figures in front of them.

He watched like Naruto’s face twisted, from scowl, to pout, to smile, how Sasuke’s shoulder went from tense, to slack, to relax. How Naruto was gravitating towards Uchiha, how Sasuke _let_ Naruto get closer, how Uzumaki sought opportunities to touch his best friend.

How the jacket Uchiha was wearing remained him of something Uzumaki bought few days ago.

“And then BOOM!” Kiba shouted, right next to him. “That was the best. The guy who played the double agent was weird as fuck. How does he even manage to win with that yakuza guy?”

“He used the syringe with a virus,” Shikamaru added, tossing his cigarette butt into the bin.

“What?! No! That was an antidote for his sister, he couldn’t use it on the bad guy!”

Kiba’s voice was way too loud for Shikamaru’s liking.

Nara brought his eyes back to the boys in front, just in time to see Naruto throwing his arm around Uchiha’s shoulder. Uzumaki’s nose was dangerously close to Uchiha’s cheeks and Sasuke tipped his face to the right to look at his friend’s beaming smile.

“I’m telling you, Kiba,” Nara said, his eyes not leaving the scene in front of them.

“But – but what was the point then! Man, no fucking way! I’m sure Naruto agree with me. Hey, Na – “

Shikamaru’s arm shoot in front of Inuzuka, stopping him midsentence.

Naruto’s eyes fluttered shut, his head moved closer to Sasuke, tan hand bringing Uchiha closer by his neck and Shikamaru was sure that Naruto was about to– he was going to –

And then Naruto stuck his tongue out and left a long, wet trail over Sasuke’s cheek.

Kiba’s laugh was even louder than Naruto’s own triumphal shouts.

“You are disgusting, Uzumaki!” Uchiha growled, pushing Naruto’s arm away.

“At least my breath doesn’t smell like I eat coal for breakfast!”

“I’m gonna destroy you!”

Shikamaru watched at Naruto’s attempt to outrun Sasuke, but he was pretty sure that Uchiha would be at his throat before Uzumaki could even reach a crossroad.

“Should we help him?” Kiba asked, looking at the struggling Uzumaki.

“Nah,” Shikamaru answered and stuck his hands into the pockets. “They’re fine.”

**V**

Iruka heard the hushed voices behind his front door and a lot of shuffling and fumbling. He put the kettle down on the stove and moved towards the hall.

When he opened the door, he definitely wasn’t expecting angry Sasuke holding Naruto bridal style.

“Iruka! You’re home!”

Before Iruka could ask what was happening, Naruto’s face turned toward him and then he saw _it_.

“Naruto! What did you do?!” Iruka shouted.

Left side of Uzumaki’s face was swollen, with dried blood traces under his nose, his eye barley open.

“Nothing! I was just in the park with Konohamaru!”

“And?” Iruka pressed.

“And nothing!”

“You idiot.”

Uchiha angrily tossed Naruto on the couch in the living room and without looking back at his friend, disappeared in the bathroom. 

Naruto felt a ominous presence of Iruka, looming over him. In any other case, he would be stubborn and not say a words, but despite Umino’s furious expression, there was a concern in his eyes. Naruto let out a sigh.

“I told Konohamaru we were learning new spinning kicks at taekwondo and – they are those really cool hook kicks, and you need to bring it back 360 and the whole shabang and – “, Iruka’s jaw clenched, because he was pretty sure he knew where the story was going.

“A – anyhow,” Naruto continued, looking at his own lap. “I told Konohamaru how to do them, and he tried a few times. It was going pretty good, I just haven’t though that he would be that close and he was supposed to stop in front of my face, but it somehow didn’t happened and – and… It isn’t even that big of a deal!”

“You passed out, you moron,” Uchiha hissed back from the hall.

“Only for few minutes, you dick!”

Iruka watched like Sasuke opened up their first aid kit and slumped next to Naruto on the couch.

“You are so stupid, I can’t with you,” despite his angry words, Umino saw that Sasuke actually was really gentle with cleansing Naruto’s wounds.

“It wasn’t me who insist on caring me the whole way home!”

“Because you passed out before!”

“For. Few. Minutes! Ouch!”

Uchiha pressed harder on the painfully looking bruise on Naruto’s jaw. At least, it made Naruto silent for awhile.

“We should go to the hospital, to get you checked,” Iruka proposed.

“What?! No! I didn’t even break anything. They’re just bruises and that’s all,” Naruto insisted, his hand combing through his hair. “Come on, Iruka, I’m fine, really, if I’ll feel bad, I’m gonna tell you right away and we can go to grandma Tsunade.”

Iruka let out a long sigh.

He knew that they really should go to hospital and checked, just to be sure that everything was fine. But recently they had _the talk_ about Iruka being overprotective and Naruto was technically and adult and Iruka needed to let him handle his own problems. 

He shoot Sasuke quick glance, just to make sure that Naruto was telling the truth and it was okay to tend to his wounds at home.

“Fine,” Iruka said and moved towards the kitchen, “Let me bring you an icepack.”

Umino walked straight to the freezer and looked for a cold compress he knew was still somewhere on one of the shelves. With his head in the freezer, he almost missed Naruto’s words coming from the living room.

“Am I ugly now?”

The question obviously was directed to Sasuke, but Iruka couldn’t help a small smile of his own.

“You don’t look that different to me,” Uchiha said, teasing. “I don’t think you could look worse than before.”

“Bastard,” Naruto let out a small laugh and somehow Iruka felt his shoulder relaxing.

He finally found the compress and was ready to head back to the living room, when Naruto’s words stopped him.

“Thank you, Sasuke.”

It was timid and soft and so vulnerable.

“I’m glad that you came and that you knew what to do. And you didn’t even shout at Konohamaru. He thought, you were going to kill him, when I told him to call you.”

“I was thinking about killing both of you, actually,” Uchiha admitted and Naruto was laughing again.

When Iruka peeked into the room, he saw Sasuke gently cradling Naruto’s face in his hand and cleaning the blood under the nose. It was something unguarded in Naruto’s pose, how he let Sasuke tilted his head in every direction, how Uchiha’s eyes were no longer angry but full of concern, how Naruto was still smiling, even if it must have hurt as hell.

Iruka felt the compress freezing his fingers, but he wasn’t sure he could enter the room just yet.

“Don’t you ever do something so stupid,” Sasuke started, looking Naruto dead in the eyes.” Because I’m not caring your heavy ass up those stairs ever again.”

“Oh, Sasuke. Just admit that you are too weak to lift a little old me. Ouch!”

Iruka understood that it was his cue to step in.

**VI**

Naruto was laying on the couch, his legs dangling from the backrest, his head tilted in a way that let him see Sasuke’s back in the kitchen.

Uchiha’s hands were occupied with different jars of grounded coffee, his muscles flexing every time he brought them closer to his face, his tank top sliding from his shoulder, finger pushing the longest strands of hair behind the ear and Naruto… Naruto didn’t want to miss any of that.

He heard the coffee machine coming to life, Kurama’s barking from the Uchiha’s garden, clacking of the dishes.

It was quiet, peaceful. Comforting.

And then, Naruto opened his mouth.

“I ran into Karin yesterday,” he started and when he received small hum, he continued. “She told me to say sorry that she can’t stop by any time soon.”

Naruto waited for Sasuke to turn around and placed on of the mugs on the kitchen counter.

“She also said, that she was very, veeeery thankful for the other night.”

Uchiha’s hands didn’t even quiver, when he pressed some more buttons on the machine.

“I’ll text her later.”

Naruto watched like Sasuke prepared the coffee just the way Naruto liked, how he smiled when he saw Kurama running after birds, how those black eyes were shining in the sun, when Uchiha caught him staring.

Few years ago, he would whip his head the other way and swear he never ever looked in Sasuke’s direction, but now, they were so far past that point.

And Naruto was glad.

Because otherwise, he would miss the way Uchiha’s head tilted to the left, when the right corner of his mouth went up, he would miss a small parting of his lips, the lift of his brows in a silent question.

_Why are you looking at me like that?_

Naruto didn’t stop even when the coffee machine let out a small blip and Uchiha needed to avert his eyes from the blond. He followed Uchiha’s moves, until Sasuke put their coffees on the table and slumped on the ground, right next to the couch.

In that moment, Kurama ran back into the house and climbed over Uchiha’s lap and nuzzled his head into his palm.

“You should date Karin.”

He didn’t know why he said that. Was it because of the heavy weight pushing on his chest? Was it because of the image of Sasuke, still with his bed hair, old tank top, with sunshine dancing over his stretched legs, his long fingers combing through Kurama’s fur –

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

The smell of coffee filling the living room, with tones of wild raspberry. Safety. Familiarity.

“She’s not that bad, really. She is smart and she’s very devoted and she has got that great Uzumaki hair,” he answered with a smile.

When Sasuke moved his eyes towards him, Naruto could barely believe that someone so untouchable was even real.

He really wanted to make sure, that when he stretched his hand, it wouldn’t go through, that he would touch his skin and it would be as smooth as it looked like.

“Did she ask you to also said that?”

“No, I – “

Naruto wanted to guarantee that it was his idea, and okay, it sounded stupid, but his fingers found their way into Sasuke’s hair and it was soft and silky, and for a moment Uzumaki forgot what he wanted to say. He pushed Sasuke’s fringe away from his eyes and when their eyes met, the heavy feeling was back and Naruto knew – He knew –

“I just thought that if you marry Karin, we could be family.”

He wanted moments like that to last forever, but he didn’t know what he could offer Sasuke to make him stay.

“You think we are not family?”

Something in Sasuke’s eyes flickered and Naruto’s fingers slipped to the shorter hair at the back of Uchiha’s neck. His heart was throbbing painfully in his chest, the weight was pushing at his lungs and it was so hard to breath.

“Of course, we are, Sasuke,” the answer was soft, a little breathless. “You are like a brother to me.”

Naruto felt his hand hitting the couch, cold and empty, his narrowed eyes followed Sasuke, who with a sharp smile stood up from the floor. Without a word he moved towards the kitchen, Kurama right behind him.

And the moment was gone.

Uzumaki let out a growl, his head bouncing off the couch.

He hoped, _no_ , he _begged_ his parents, his grandparents, every ancestor, whoever was looking over him from up there, to let him have just one more moment like that. Because next time, he felt he finally would say and do the right thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for all the nice comments on previous stories. You are too nice. I hope you also liked this story!


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